In the love affair between infant and mother, the mother playfully teases the infant into connection, expresses delight, responds with a kind of knowing pleasure that feels spontaneous to the infant, but that she was waiting for all along. There’s mutual gazing, a back-and-forth, a dance. It’s a blissful time in their mutual […]
So here’s the thing about avoidant attachment: it’s a style of coping with vulnerability or distress that masks or minimizes one’s need for connection, soothing, or support.
We’re excited to share a short preview of the first video in the course so you can experience the teaching style for yourself. This opening session sets the stage for what makes therapy “psychoanalytic” and introduces the guiding principles that […]
Lately I’ve been reflecting on the role of fathers, grandfathers, and other paternal figures who come to symbolize authority, strength, and the transmission of tradition across generations. In many ways, their function is to set limits, to push us toward individuation and separateness, […]
Esti had stepped into my life, and I into hers.
We were circling something in our sessions, something neither of us could quite name. It felt like an elephant in the room.
Esti seemed to want […]
CBT and psychoanalysis:
When Devorah came to see me, she sat down quietly and looked around the room. There was a long pause, one of those silences that can feel heavy and uncomfortable.
Part of me wanted to jump in, make small talk, help her feel safe. […]
When we’re in distress, our first need often isn’t to fix the feeling, it’s to get it out. To hand it over to someone else who can hold it. This isn’t immaturity. It’s a deeply human process rooted in our earliest experiences.
Many people struggle with the ability to mentalize—to understand and reflect on what others are thinking or feeling—especially if they grew up with caregivers who expressed envy, hostility, or passive aggression. This blog explores why the minds of others can feel dangerous, how trauma can lead to either emotional shutdown or hyper-mentalizing, and why facing the truth about our early relationships is essential for breaking painful patterns and forming healthier connections.
For many people, intensity isn’t just exciting—it can feel necessary to feel alive. Some people feel shame over this or believe it means they’re addicted to drama, trauma, or pain. There is some truth to this, but we need to frame it […]
It’s strange how quickly the people we love can turn into monsters in our minds—especially when we’re waiting, needing, or not getting what we long for.
One moment, someone feels warm and safe. The next, they seem cold, distant, withholding. And […]
