7 05, 2025

Why We Sometimes Need to “Have It All Together”

2025-05-07T02:19:33+00:00

Ever feel like you’re too ‘together’ to be truly seen? Sometimes our most praised traits—competence, charm, independence—are actually defenses. This post explores how vulnerability can be the path back to real connection.

Why We Sometimes Need to “Have It All Together”2025-05-07T02:19:33+00:00
29 04, 2025

Making Space for What Was Never Fully Known

2025-04-29T05:09:31+00:00

Some experiences don’t live inside us as coherent stories.

They don’t come wrapped up neatly with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

They don’t even always feel like memories.

Making Space for What Was Never Fully Known2025-04-29T05:09:31+00:00
22 04, 2025

The Push-Pull of Closeness: Navigating the Claustro-Agoraphobic Dilemma

2025-04-22T06:13:50+00:00

You know that feeling when you want someone close—but the moment they actually get close, something inside you recoils.

Or maybe you feel safer on your own—until the space around you gets so quiet it starts […]

The Push-Pull of Closeness: Navigating the Claustro-Agoraphobic Dilemma2025-04-22T06:13:50+00:00
16 04, 2025

When Longing and Protection Collide: The Push-Pull of Wanting Love

2025-04-16T05:18:43+00:00

Sometimes when we need love the most, we push people away.

This isn’t because we don’t want connection—it’s often because a protective part of us learned long ago that reaching out for love leads to rejection. That […]

When Longing and Protection Collide: The Push-Pull of Wanting Love2025-04-16T05:18:43+00:00
7 04, 2025

Starting Over with a New Therapist 

2025-04-08T14:59:55+00:00

By Mirel Goldstein

(This is a fictional story and is not based on work with any client.)

Leah comes to me after her previous therapist retires.

She has taken a break from therapy for […]

Starting Over with a New Therapist 2025-04-08T14:59:55+00:00
7 04, 2025

The need to be seen by others for who we are

2025-04-07T02:36:03+00:00

Have you ever felt unseen or misread by the people around you?

All of us rely on feedback from others to form a sense of who we are. But when […]

The need to be seen by others for who we are2025-04-07T02:36:03+00:00
31 03, 2025

Attacking Others when Feeling Attacked

2025-03-31T22:34:17+00:00

Defense mechanisms are ways we protect ourselves from psychic or emotional pain, often unconscious.

Some defense mechanisms are healthier than others, and some are more destructive to relationships than others are.

Attacking Others when Feeling Attacked2025-03-31T22:34:17+00:00
16 02, 2025

Blame as a Defense Against Grief: Learning to Sit with Reality

2025-02-17T02:37:20+00:00

Many of us struggle with accepting the limits of reality—the disappointments, frustrations, and sadness that come with being human. It’s one thing to acknowledge these limits as painful, but it’s another to experience them with a sense of grievance, blaming others […]

Blame as a Defense Against Grief: Learning to Sit with Reality2025-02-17T02:37:20+00:00
10 02, 2025

How Overcontrol Can Keep You Stuck, Lonely, and Exhausted

2025-02-10T02:51:26+00:00

Many people think of self-control as a good thing—something that helps us stay responsible, disciplined, and successful in life. And in many ways, it is. The ability to regulate emotions, plan carefully, and maintain high standards can be powerful strengths. […]

How Overcontrol Can Keep You Stuck, Lonely, and Exhausted2025-02-10T02:51:26+00:00
3 02, 2025

Healing Anxiety and OCD: Learning to Face Fears, Grieve, and Find Safety in Relationship

2025-02-03T08:30:11+00:00

One of the most important aspects of treating anxiety and avoidance behaviors—especially in OCD—is identifying the core fear that drives them.

We can’t effectively treat anxiety unless we target the feared stimulus itself. This comes […]

Healing Anxiety and OCD: Learning to Face Fears, Grieve, and Find Safety in Relationship2025-02-03T08:30:11+00:00
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