First of all, I want you to know that I’m glad you’re here!
And that I know that you’re here because there’s some problem in your life that you want to solve, even if you’re skeptical about whether you can.
Perhaps you’re already sold on the idea of therapy, and you’re just trying to figure out if I’m the right one. Or maybe you’re just looking around a bit, not yet sure if this is really for you. You may even be a bit skeptical about therapy (or maybe, yikes, even embarrassed or scared!)
I know because lots of people who come talk to me feel uncertain at first. It’s hard to tell your whole life story to a stranger who may not even really care about you and just views the whole thing like a job. And it’s hard to know if you should trust someone when they haven’t proven anything to you yet.
I don’t know if you’re the kind of person who worries about things like therapy being a “crutch”, or about getting too dependent on someone, or about if therapists take your money and don’t really give you anything in return except for asking annoying questions like “so, how does that make you feel?”
And I know that I can’t convince you of anything, nor would I want to try.
I do know that I can offer you a place where I am ready to listen to you say WHATEVER you want, need, or desire to say, and that if I do this, you will see for yourself how transformative that can be. And I know that when people start to feel that it’s really safe to say the things that they can’t really talk about anywhere else, everything starts to feel more IN CONTROL.
I want to give you a place to be real. Really real. (I mean it).
And that’s why from the moment you step into my office, we’ll cut right to the chase.
I’m not going to sit and make small talk with you because you don’t need me for THAT.
I’m not going to lead the conversation because the real stuff comes out when you don’t know what you’re “supposed” to say.
And I’m not going to be one of those therapists who rescues you from an awkward silence because that is often the moment just before people share the most important things.
I will sit with you as you find your way yet I promise I will not be one of those therapists who just listens and does not speak.
I may challenge you but I will never shame you and I will not judge you.
This journey will be terrifying and it will also be exciting. I will be with you by your side the whole time.
The clients who work well with me are those who either really know what they want out of therapy and are willing to go very deep to get it, or who have “been there, done that” and are tired of all the promised cures for all sorts of things that get labelled as depression, anxiety, dealing with dysfunctional families, co-dependency, PTSD, soul hunger, mother hunger, anger, narcissism, borderline personality, denial, alcoholism, food addiction- you name it.
Because all that stuff somehow just hasn’t gotten to your core and you know there has to be something MORE (yes, you deserve MORE!).
You probably already know on some level whether I’m the therapist you’re looking for. Does my message speak to YOU??
If it does, I would guess you can answer yes to following statements, but I’ll put them out there just to make sure:
-You’re willing to be challenged (Because the defenses you’ve used until now are definitely not going to work with me)
-You are willing and committed to show up and talk about even those times when you’re mad at me or don’t think what we’re doing is working!
-You are ready to REALLY let go of that “thing” you’ve been holding onto with all your might for your whole life (whether it’s a fantasy, an illusion, a coping method, a vice- on some level you know what that “thing” you need to let go of is)
-You’re willing to come AT LEAST 3 times a week! (Yes, it can be done!!!)
-You’re ready to let your walls down once and for all.
If this REALLY speaks to you, then I can’t wait to hear from you so we can get to work!
The first step is to complete my application form here:
Okay, now for the rest of you…here goes!
Finding the right therapist is important.
If you’ve tried therapy before, you probably already know how important it is to feel like your therapist really “gets” what you’re going through, is willing to talk directly with you about the stuff you try to hide from the world but that you do need to actually talk to someone about, and understands that although it may be easy to give advice and solutions that’s not really what you need (because if change was that simple you would have fixed your problems by yourself a long time ago).
If you haven’t tried therapy before, you may feel a fear of being judged or of admitting that you need help from a professional (at first). People can have all sorts of ideas in their head about how scary it will feel to actually attend a therapy session! I will be sensitive to your feelings of exposure, won’t judge you, and will help you get through it. You’ll see, it will be way more comfortable than you think!
It’s important for you to know that the people who work well with me are not looking for a quick fix and are prepared to come regularly every single week, even when they’re mad at me or tired or just don’t feel like it, because the consistency and effort are what will create real and lasting changes.
Imagine being able to wake up in the morning and to fully accept the person you see in the mirror. Think about how it will feel when you put in the work to really get past the stuff that’s holding you back; when you can clear out dysfunctional relationships from your life, set boundaries when you feel like it, speak with firmness and authority without being either aggressive or weak, make peace with your past, put your anxieties to rest, and spread your wings without fear so that you can show the world who you truly are.
For the past 16 years, I have been helping individuals and couples get to the root of their unconscious defenses, projections, struggles, and conflicts so that they can feel freer, lighter, and more joyful in their lives.
My specialties include:
Relationship Issues, such as: trust difficulties, communication problems, feelings of disconnection, or constant fighting. I work with both couples and individuals to help them break free from unhealthy cycles of interaction and reestablish feelings of closeness, safety, and security in their relationships. I also offer consultations to help people understand difficult relationship dynamics better, as well as to identify effective ways of interacting with difficult family members.
Anxiety Disorders such as:
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in which a person becomes afraid of or preoccupied with obsessive thoughts about feared events such as: making a mistake; having contact with germs; committing a sin; hurting someone such as one’s child (or violent fantasies/images that come into one’s mind); and losing control in some other way.
Social Anxiety Disorder, in which a person constantly worries about or tries to avoid feelings of embarrassment or perceived rejection in social settings
Panic Disorder, in which a person experiences physical symptoms of panic, such as dizziness or a racing heart, without an apparent cause; often this person then becomes afraid of the panic attacks themselves, trying to avoid situations in which a panic attack may occur.
Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, in which a person tries to avoid feelings and memories associated with a past traumatic event, either by trying to avoid situations that remind the person of the past trauma or by reliving the event as if it’s happening over and over again in the present (rather than thinking about and processing the event as something that has happened in the past but is now over).
Personality Issues such as: Borderline Personality Disorder, dealing with difficult people, commitment fears in relationships, and personality splits (opposite extremes in one’s feelings and relationships).
I also invite you to read some of my blog posts to get a feel for some of my work.
My general approach is psychodynamic. This means that I will help you identify patterns of feelings, behaviors, and relationship themes that may be out of your awareness but are influencing a lot of your behaviors, motivations, difficulties, and choices. We will explore how these connect to past experiences and how resolving them, in the therapy relationship as well as outside of it, can help you have a greater sense of well-being and freedom from symptoms and struggles that you are having.
And if you want to do some really deep psychoanalytic work, please read more about that here:
Who Is Mirel Goldstein?
Mirel Goldstein, MS, MA, LPC is a licensed therapist with an office conveniently located in Clifton NJ; she is a graduate of Columbia University, with over 16 years of experience successfully counseling both couples and individuals. Mirel specializes in the treatment of relationship issues, trauma, and anxiety disorders. Mirel’s work experience includes clinical case management; forensic assessment and case management for clients with co-occurring mental illness and criminal justice involvement; crisis intervention and assessment for clients experiencing acute symptoms, substance abuse, suicidality, and self-harming behaviors; clinical consultation and staff training in a residential facility for clients with chronic mental illness; emergency room counseling; school counseling; family therapy; and group therapy. Mirel maintains her private psychotherapy practice in addition to her responsibilities as a college teacher, author, and popular lecturer. Mirel is the former online training administrator for the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation and authored the novel “What Your Therapist is Really Thinking: Sessions with Shira”; she is also a past recipient of an award for her clinical work by the New Jersey Association for Mental Health and Addiction Agencies.
Ready to move forward with treatment? Please give me a call and then visit my forms page to get started!