Part of developing a healthy sense of self comes down to a developmental experience we all require for a sense of self-esteem to emerge: positive mirroring from our caregivers. We need to see ourselves as important in their eyes- admired, seen, and […]
Object constancy refers to the ability of a person to use the function or representation of a caregiving other for self-soothing and comfort, even when the other person is not actually there. It’s the ability to feel a sense of security and […]
As humans, we all need some level of predictability, and perception of control, in our lives.
Even though none of us really have control over the way life plays out for us, there are choices we can make, and experiences others […]
I used to have pretty bad health anxiety. It wasn’t there all the time, but when it flared up, it was debilitating. For example, over the years, I’ve had a few biopsies. Those cancer scares, and the waiting for results, were always […]
Not everyone comes to therapy wanting the same thing. And not everyone should.
Some people want a place to exhale. Somewhere they can talk about their week, process how they’re feeling, and have someone really listen, not to fix […]
Those of us with active imaginations tend to be excellent at coming up with hypothetical scenarios and running possibilities through our minds. We constantly play out mental scenarios, asking ourselves: “What if this happens? What if that happens?”
Growing up, and life in general, involves a lot of trade-offs. Many of the developmental steps we take come with a sense of loss, a feeling of giving something up. New doors open, new capacities develop, but we also leave things behind. […]
Lately, many of my clients have been struggling with emotions that feel uncontainable. At times, they describe an internal void so physically painful to sit with that it feels like a vacuum demanding to be filled. This sense of emptiness and disconnection—the feeling of not knowing if you are truly “real” to yourself […]
We all need to be held in mind by others, especially by our caregivers early in life, at a time before we have words- or the capacity to think about ourselves on our own. Being held in someone else’s mind makes us […]
Guest Post By Michal Goldman
Relationships are built through many small moments of connection, and they are also shaped by many small moments of disconnection. These moments of disconnection are often subtle. Someone says something and does not […]