CBT and psychoanalysis:
When Devorah came to see me, she sat down quietly and looked around the room. There was a long pause, one of those silences that can feel heavy and uncomfortable.
Part of me wanted to jump in, make small talk, help her feel safe. […]
When we’re in distress, our first need often isn’t to fix the feeling, it’s to get it out. To hand it over to someone else who can hold it. This isn’t immaturity. It’s a deeply human process rooted in our earliest experiences.
Many people struggle with the ability to mentalize—to understand and reflect on what others are thinking or feeling—especially if they grew up with caregivers who expressed envy, hostility, or passive aggression. This blog explores why the minds of others can feel dangerous, how trauma can lead to either emotional shutdown or hyper-mentalizing, and why facing the truth about our early relationships is essential for breaking painful patterns and forming healthier connections.
For many people, intensity isn’t just exciting—it can feel necessary to feel alive. Some people feel shame over this or believe it means they’re addicted to drama, trauma, or pain. There is some truth to this, but we need to frame it […]
It’s strange how quickly the people we love can turn into monsters in our minds—especially when we’re waiting, needing, or not getting what we long for.
One moment, someone feels warm and safe. The next, they seem cold, distant, withholding. And […]
Many of us live our lives chasing something—a kind of fulfillment, recognition, achievement, or type of partner or friend- without realizing that the thing we’re after might not be ours to begin with.
Unconsciously, we often absorb […]
Each of us carries secret, private thoughts or moments we feel embarrassed or ashamed about—sometimes for deeply personal, idiosyncratic reasons. And yet, when we dare to share those hidden parts of ourselves with another person, and they’re not only accepted, but affirmed, it […]
Fairbairn observed that children don’t just need to be loved—they also need to feel their love is received. This idea touches on something important but often overlooked: giving love can be a more vulnerable act than searching for or needing love.
Ever feel like you’re too ‘together’ to be truly seen? Sometimes our most praised traits—competence, charm, independence—are actually defenses. This post explores how vulnerability can be the path back to real connection.
Some experiences don’t live inside us as coherent stories.
They don’t come wrapped up neatly with a beginning, a middle, and an end.
They don’t even always feel like memories.
