Disappointment Anxiety
Most of us recognize the sense of let down that comes with longing for something we cannot have, or hoping for something that doesn’t pan out. Relationship hopes that don’t work out, career dreams that get derailed by unexpected circumstances, and even simple disappointments like […]
Coping with Grief
There are many types of losses that we all face, some major- like a death or relationship breakup- and some less so- like a missed opportunity or saying no to something we want to do. How we cope with disappointments, not getting […]
How to Keep Passion Alive in Committed Relationships
Good coupling involves a lively back and forth between safety and risk.
The security of commitment, mutual values, sharing a home, and managing day to day tasks as a team tends to create a […]
Secrets in Relationships- Good or Bad?
Most of us can remember the delight and hushed tones with which we told (or were told) our very first secrets, and perhaps the pain of exclusion at the secrets we were not told in our earliest friendships as […]
Speaking Up in Relationships
One of the challenges for people who don’t speak up for themselves is that everyone seems to like them that way. Whether it’s a co-worker, spouse, child, or friend- […]
Negotiating Boundaries in Relationships
While most people can appreciate the importance of marking at least some individual boundaries within relationships, knowing how and where to “draw the line” is not always quite that simple. As a matter of […]
Effects of Trauma on Relationships
One of the most difficult challenges in recovering from traumatic experiences, is teaching our “survival brains” to differentiate “real” emergencies or danger cues in the present from “pseudo-traumas”- experiences that look like past traumas but […]
During the current coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic, many people have been forced to engage with people in their lives who are not good for them in ways that are much more meaningful. If you live with a manipulator, the already stressful […]
The Reinforcement of Personality Splits in Couples
Opposites can be particularly attractive to each other when a contrast is needed to offset (or distract from) insecurities about oneself.
A client, let’s call her “Debra”, had always been ashamed of her craving for attention and the limelight. She […]
Containment in Relationships
While the vicissitudes of ordinary discourse in relationships may be easy for many of us, this is by no means the case for everyone.
What can we make of the times when words are not treated as simply the best tools we’ve come up […]