To speak or not to speak?
Many people wonder why it’s a good thing to talk about problems, feelings, memories, and more, instead of just pushing them away and forgetting about them. This is especially true when the act of talking seems to dredge […]
Contamination Fears in Relationships and Toxic Shame
While most of us associate fears of contaminating others with physical illnesses like the chicken pox or the Zika virus, many people harbor similar kinds of fears about being emotionally damaged or infected in ways that […]
Who is this person who abuses his/her partner?
(For the sake of simplicity, I at times have used the male pronoun to refer to the abuser, and the female pronoun to refer to the victim. In reality, the roles of victim and perpetrator are not […]
Frontier States and the Creative Process
Words like “borderline” and “schizoid” have at times gotten bad rap for their associations to things like instability, identity confusion, fear of commitment, and giving mixed messages to or avoiding those we love. Yet in-between modes such as these […]
(Disclaimer: This story is a fictional piece)
Letting Go: Sarah’s Story
Sarah stared blankly at the empty journal in front of her, her therapist’s words reverberating in her head. “Just put yourself back there, as if you’re 14 again…or even 6. And write to me about […]
Sometimes we lose track of how much we can improve the communication in our relationships if we learn to really listen; to listen to understand without thinking about how we’re going to defend ourselves, fix a problem, or make the other person’s feelings go away. Listening sounds so simple, but […]
The tension between what we know and what we don’t know about our partners can make it hard to appreciate just how easily misunderstandings can happen.
Technology only adds to the difficulty; we get so much information with the constant texting, emailing, social media sharing etc…that we […]
I received many requests to create a follow up video after posting my video on “Dismissive Attachment”. Many people expressed that they wanted to hear more about the other attachment styles as well. I offer some more general thoughts about the different […]
Reading Between the Lines in Couples Therapy- When Actions Say What Words Cannot
For the therapist who believes that there’s “more than meets the eye” when it comes to the common complaints that couples come in with, it can be a real challenge to figure […]
Can there be too much of a “good thing” when it comes to parenting?
Although most people come to therapy either because they feel some sort of distress or else are at a loss about how to manage a specific life situation or set of feelings, […]