When You’re Ordinary, Normal, and Highly Successful…and You Still Need Help
I’ve often wondered why it can be so hard for people who seem like poster children for “ordinary”, “normal”, and “successful” to take help….and especially why they wait so long to show […]
The Illusion of Control and the Downside of Submission
Some things are not the way they seem on the surface. Relationships that are about control and submission frequently fall into this category. What you see is not necessarily the whole story.
There are many forms of control in relationships. […]
On Deceiving and Being Deceived
As a relationship therapist, I am often confronted with questions about honesty, deception, lies, and differences in perspective. Some couples come in accusing each other of lying. Some argue over events, each with a different version of what happened. Sometimes it’s […]
What does a dismissive attachment style have to do with anxiety?
A dismissive attachment style can affect your relationships with friends, family members, and your children. How can you tell if you or someone you love has a dismissive attachment style? And, why does it matter?
This […]
Trying to decide between individual therapy or couples counseling?
If you’re experiencing problems in a relationship, you may have wondered whether it’s best to go to an individual therapist to talk about it, or to attend couples […]
Wondering if you have symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder?
Here are links to a couple of assessments on OCD that can be completed on one’s own:
What are Narcissistic Vulnerabilities?
Many of the difficult people we encounter in life can be thought of as having narcissistic vulnerabilities. This means it is very difficult for them to regulate their self-esteem and that they are vulnerable to feeling very ashamed. These people often feel the need […]
Click here to read Part I of this article
“Looks can Be Deceiving”: Mentalization Skills in Relationships, Part 2
What are the differences between the private mental experiences that happen inside of us, such as feelings, thoughts, or beliefs, and the objective, concrete behaviors or actions that happen outside of us?
One of the main differences is […]
Why not use hitting when so many parents say that it “works”?
Even though it is true that hitting may seem effective sometimes in the short run in terms of getting a child to obey, in the long run, it interferes with a child’s development of a sense of ownership and boundary over his physical body. […]
Helping Your Child Develop a Secure Attachment
It is well-known that children who are comfortably and securely attached to their parents do much better at growing up and thriving than children who are not secure. According to Psychiatrist John Bowlby and a large body of research on children, children with a secure attachment style easily go […]