Why I have embraced the “free association” technique at long last
“Free association”, a therapy technique (sometimes referred to as “the fundamental rule” in psychoanalysis) in which a person puts himself into a reflective state of mind and notices/talks about whatever seemingly random thoughts, feelings, images, and memories […]
Abandonment: Depression and Other Effects
Feelings of abandonment by people we need or love, even people who hurt us sometimes too, can be one of the most difficult experiences in relationships, calling up some of our most primitive survival mechanisms to manage the pain.
But we all experience […]
Fear of Anger and other Mental States
Do you allow yourself to be open to whatever emotions, desires, and beliefs come up for you in a given moment- or do you try to control your inner reactions?
Although our mental states (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and desires) often arise […]
Fear of Rejection and Insecurities about Going After One’s Dreams
Feeling like others don’t support your dreams can be painful and frustrating. Trying to get others to see your value and finding people to support you when you’re feeling just slightly unsure of yourself can […]
As the seasons start to change, please be mindful of any changes in your mood that may need treatment.
How to Recognize Depression:
Many people wonder how they can tell the difference between ordinary sadness- for example, after events like the loss of a loved one; […]
Anxiety Disorders and Fear of the Unknown
One of the most difficult aspects of anxiety disorders is the fear of uncertainty, because uncertainty is everywhere. There are so many unknowns, especially in the contemporary world we live in- where so many surprising events constantly bombard us, […]
Anxiety and Insecurity about One’s Sense of Self
Would you give up your autonomy for the illusion of protection?
Many adults do, especially those with anxiety disorders, fears of abandonment, or relationship insecurity.
As a matter of fact, many people with anxiety disorders feel that they must depend on […]
Couples Therapy: When Needs Conflict
Even though feelings are subjective (and always make sense in some subjective way), relationships are full of struggles over who’s feelings are right and who’s are wrong.
This comes up quite often in couples therapy.
Even though we are not responsible for […]
“Looks Can be Deceiving”: Mentalization Skills in Relationships, Part I
So I’m going to talk with you today about some ideas that come from something called “mentalization based therapy”. Some of you may have heard of that but probably most of you have not. I’m going to […]
When talking about change backfires
Have you ever had someone tell you about a problem, ask for advice, express a strong desire to change…only to become defensive when you try to help?
This is one of the most confusing relationship dynamics that people come in with. It’s one thing […]