During the current coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic, many people have been forced to engage with people in their lives who are not good for them in ways that are much more meaningful. If you live with a manipulator, the already stressful […]
The Reinforcement of Personality Splits in Couples
Opposites can be particularly attractive to each other when a contrast is needed to offset (or distract from) insecurities about oneself.
A client, let’s call her “Debra”, had always been ashamed of her craving for attention and the limelight. She […]
Containment in Relationships
While the vicissitudes of ordinary discourse in relationships may be easy for many of us, this is by no means the case for everyone.
What can we make of the times when words are not treated as simply the best tools we’ve come up […]
The Hidden Side of “Special”
For many of us, our first experiences of being “special” to others happens naturally with our parents in our earliest days on this earth. Whether it’s the excitement we sense from them as they welcome us into this world for the […]
Separating the Past from the Present; Transference and Projection
One of the markers of a healthy personality is the ability to be flexible about how we see things and to let in new learning about the world and our relationships.
Although all of us are constantly bombarded […]
Why I have embraced the “free association” technique at long last
“Free association”, a therapy technique (sometimes referred to as “the fundamental rule” in psychoanalysis) in which a person puts himself into a reflective state of mind and notices/talks about whatever seemingly random thoughts, feelings, images, and memories […]
Abandonment: Depression and Other Effects
Feelings of abandonment by people we need or love, even people who hurt us sometimes too, can be one of the most difficult experiences in relationships, calling up some of our most primitive survival mechanisms to manage the pain.
But we all experience […]
Fear of Anger and other Mental States
Do you allow yourself to be open to whatever emotions, desires, and beliefs come up for you in a given moment- or do you try to control your inner reactions?
Although our mental states (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and desires) often arise […]
Fear of Rejection and Insecurities about Going After One’s Dreams
Feeling like others don’t support your dreams can be painful and frustrating. Trying to get others to see your value and finding people to support you when you’re feeling just slightly unsure of yourself can […]
As the seasons start to change, please be mindful of any changes in your mood that may need treatment.
How to Recognize Depression:
Many people wonder how they can tell the difference between ordinary sadness- for example, after events like the loss of a loved one; […]