What are Narcissistic Vulnerabilities?
Many of the difficult people we encounter in life can be thought of as having narcissistic vulnerabilities. This means it is very difficult for them to regulate their self-esteem and that they are vulnerable to feeling very ashamed. These people often feel the need […]
Click here to read Part I of this article
“Looks can Be Deceiving”: Mentalization Skills in Relationships, Part 2
What are the differences between the private mental experiences that happen inside of us, such as feelings, thoughts, or beliefs, and the objective, concrete behaviors or actions that happen outside of us?
One of the main differences is […]
Aggression in Relationships:
One thing I’ve noticed in the practice of psychotherapy over the years, is that for some people, aggression allows connection. There is something paradoxical about this, and it took me some time to realize that what might seem “mean”, “tough”, or “confrontational” on the surface, is actually the key to helping some people […]
Communication problems, hidden agendas, and passive aggression in relationships
Have you ever had that feeling that you must be going crazy, because something feels so wrong but the people around you are acting as if you’re the problem?
Well, you are not alone! Hidden agendas are extremely common in […]
Marriage Advice: How to stop getting the opposite of what you’re looking for
One of the most challenging aspects of relationships is that we often need exactly what the other person cannot give. Getting stuck on what others cannot give us often distracts us from […]
Do you take the blame for everything??
Do you tend to get blamed for things that aren’t your fault?
Some people feed off of having someone to blame whenever things go wrong or feel uncomfortable. There always has to be someone else around so that whatever happens can be someone else’s fault. But what if you’re the […]
Do Opposites Attract? Lessons from Couples Therapy
Jun 22, 2014 12:39 am | Mirel Goldstein
Carla and David had been coming to see me for couples therapy over the course of several months, when we found ourselves at a major impasse regarding Carla’s complaints about David’s lack of responsibility and follow-through. Carla was extremely organized and liked […]
Compulsive Rescuing
Jul 04, 2014 12:51 am | Mirel Goldstein
Many people wish to be rescued when circumstances become trying enough. Situations such as not having enough money to pay one’s bills, feeling out of control about compulsive behaviors such as overeating or drinking alcohol, feeling lonely after a recent relationship breakup, or trying to get out […]
Emotion Regulation: Shame
Jul 13, 2014 12:38 am | Mirel Goldstein
Most of us have experienced feelings of shame at some point in our lives…feelings of wanting to hide, wishing we didn’t exist, feeling painfully exposed to others and their judgments. For some, the sense of inner […]
Power Dynamics in Relationships
Aug 03, 2014 10:44 pm | Mirel Goldstein
One of the most confusing power dynamics in relationships that comes up in my work as a therapist, has to do with feelings of confusion and insecurity that come up when clients spend time with people who seem very nice and harmless on the surface, […]