Marriage Advice: How to stop getting the opposite of what you’re looking for
One of the most challenging aspects of relationships is that we often need exactly what the other person cannot give. Getting stuck on what others cannot give us often distracts us from […]
Do you take the blame for everything??
Do you tend to get blamed for things that aren’t your fault?
Some people feed off of having someone to blame whenever things go wrong or feel uncomfortable. There always has to be someone else around so that whatever happens can be someone else’s fault. But what if you’re the […]
Do Opposites Attract? Lessons from Couples Therapy
Jun 22, 2014 12:39 am | Mirel Goldstein
Carla and David had been coming to see me for couples therapy over the course of several months, when we found ourselves at a major impasse regarding Carla’s complaints about David’s lack of responsibility and follow-through. Carla was extremely organized and liked […]
Compulsive Rescuing
Jul 04, 2014 12:51 am | Mirel Goldstein
Many people wish to be rescued when circumstances become trying enough. Situations such as not having enough money to pay one’s bills, feeling out of control about compulsive behaviors such as overeating or drinking alcohol, feeling lonely after a recent relationship breakup, or trying to get out […]
Emotion Regulation: Shame
Jul 13, 2014 12:38 am | Mirel Goldstein
Most of us have experienced feelings of shame at some point in our lives…feelings of wanting to hide, wishing we didn’t exist, feeling painfully exposed to others and their judgments. For some, the sense of inner […]
Power Dynamics in Relationships
Aug 03, 2014 10:44 pm | Mirel Goldstein
One of the most confusing power dynamics in relationships that comes up in my work as a therapist, has to do with feelings of confusion and insecurity that come up when clients spend time with people who seem very nice and harmless on the surface, […]
Shared Avoidance and Unconscious Collusions in Couples Therapy
Oct 29, 2014 05:15 pm | Mirel Goldstein
If you’re reading this post that starts with the words “Save my marriage”, then you probably already know just how true it is that difficult times […]
Childhood Dynamics in Adult Relationships
The past has a funny way of repeating itself, and many people find themselves re-experiencing family dynamics from childhood in their current adult relationships.
Whether it comes about through attraction to partners who match up with our mental pictures of what […]
Insights from Psychoanalytic Therapy: Could you be projecting in your relationships?
We all have defenses, which are ways that we protect ourselves from feelings, experiences, or memories that are painful or hard to cope with. One common defense is “projection” or “projective identification”, in which we […]