Many of us live our lives chasing something—a kind of fulfillment, recognition, achievement, or type of partner or friend- without realizing that the thing we’re after might not be ours to begin with.
Unconsciously, we often absorb […]
Each of us carries secret, private thoughts or moments we feel embarrassed or ashamed about—sometimes for deeply personal, idiosyncratic reasons. And yet, when we dare to share those hidden parts of ourselves with another person, and they’re not only accepted, but affirmed, it […]
Fairbairn observed that children don’t just need to be loved—they also need to feel their love is received. This idea touches on something important but often overlooked: giving love can be a more vulnerable act than searching for or needing love.
Ever feel like you’re too ‘together’ to be truly seen? Sometimes our most praised traits—competence, charm, independence—are actually defenses. This post explores how vulnerability can be the path back to real connection.
Some experiences don’t live inside us as coherent stories.
They don’t come wrapped up neatly with a beginning, a middle, and an end.
They don’t even always feel like memories.
You know that feeling when you want someone close—but the moment they actually get close, something inside you recoils.
Or maybe you feel safer on your own—until the space around you gets so quiet it starts […]
Sometimes when we need love the most, we push people away.
This isn’t because we don’t want connection—it’s often because a protective part of us learned long ago that reaching out for love leads to rejection. That […]
By Mirel Goldstein
(This is a fictional story and is not based on work with any client.)
Leah comes to me after her previous therapist retires.
She has taken a break from therapy for […]
Have you ever felt unseen or misread by the people around you?
All of us rely on feedback from others to form a sense of who we are. But when […]
Defense mechanisms are ways we protect ourselves from psychic or emotional pain, often unconscious.
Some defense mechanisms are healthier than others, and some are more destructive to relationships than others are.
