Aggression in Relationships:
One thing I’ve noticed in the practice of psychotherapy over the years, is that for some people, aggression allows connection. There is something paradoxical about this, and it took me some time to realize that what might seem “mean”, “tough”, or “confrontational” on the surface, is actually the key to helping some people […]
Communication problems, hidden agendas, and passive aggression in relationships
Have you ever had that feeling that you must be going crazy, because something feels so wrong but the people around you are acting as if you’re the problem?
Well, you are not alone! Hidden agendas are extremely common in […]
Marriage Advice: How to stop getting the opposite of what you’re looking for
One of the most challenging aspects of relationships is that we often need exactly what the other person cannot give. Getting stuck on what others cannot give us often distracts us from […]
Split Attention versus Mindfulness?
Recent trends encouraging mindfulness have pointed our awareness to the benefits of directing our full attention to one thing at a time, giving that thing our full focus and presence of mind. When it comes to things like eating mindlessly, multi-tasking, checking facebook while our loved ones are talking to us- to […]
Do you take the blame for everything??
Do you tend to get blamed for things that aren’t your fault?
Some people feed off of having someone to blame whenever things go wrong or feel uncomfortable. There always has to be someone else around so that whatever happens can be someone else’s fault. But what if you’re the […]
Fear of Getting Your Hopes Up
“I’m so excited about that job that I just interviewed for, I really hope I get it.”
“I really liked that person that I just went on a date with, I had such a good feeling about it”.
“I just had the most amazing idea…wait until you hear it!”
When we express feelings […]
A Therapist’s Thoughts on Reclaiming Lost Parts of Ourselves
May 25, 2014 10:55 pm | Mirel Goldstein
“I’m so excited about that job that I just interviewed for, I really hope I get it.”
“I really liked that person that I just went on a date with, I had such a good feeling about it”.
“I just had the […]
The Gap Between Thought and Action
Jun 07, 2014 11:45 pm | Mirel Goldstein
How much space do you leave between your thoughts and actions? How quickly do you act on an impulse or thought that pops into your mind? For one couple I worked with, answering this question about the gap between thought and action was […]
Do Opposites Attract? Lessons from Couples Therapy
Jun 22, 2014 12:39 am | Mirel Goldstein
Carla and David had been coming to see me for couples therapy over the course of several months, when we found ourselves at a major impasse regarding Carla’s complaints about David’s lack of responsibility and follow-through. Carla was extremely organized and liked […]
Self-Hatred
Jun 29, 2014 12:34 am | Mirel Goldstein
Recently, a number of clients have communicated to me some version of “I hate myself” or “I’ve always hated myself”, while discussing symptoms such as depression, compulsive or addictive behaviors, or self-esteem issues. Often, this powerful self-hatred is accompanied by feelings of being toxic, evil, and inherently prone […]