Anxiety is tough. Many of us are feeling more anxious than ever.
Talking to a skilled clinician about anxiety can happen in the comfort of your own home using online telehealth therapy sessions or in person at my Clifton, NJ counseling practice. Anxiety is common and can be quite painful so you may feel a sense of desperation or urgency about getting help, as well as some fears at the same time.
Understanding Anxiety Disorders
It’s useful to establish that anxiety and anxiety disorders are actually two different things. Just because you feel anxious some of the time does not necessarily mean you need treatment. Anxiety is something we all feel some of the time, and mental health treatment is really only indicated when a person experiences too much or too little conscious anxiety (anxiety you are aware of), or when anxiety is causing negative consequences. For example, feelings of anxiety may hold you back from things you want to do, stop you from taking healthy risks, and make it hard to realistically appraise safety and danger in different situations so you can act accordingly.
Am I Feeling Anxious or Do I Have an Anxiety Disorder?
Anxiety is a set of signals or alarms your nervous system sends to alert you there is danger. In general, a person’s nervous system is wired to send different types of signals when it registers the presence of a threat: physical, cognitive, or emotional signals. For example, our bodies may physically prepare us to fight or run through a series of sensations and chemical reactions, causing common physical signs of anxiety such as increased heart rate, body temperature changes, and bursts of adrenaline. In addition to these physical warnings, we also get emotional cues from our bodies, such as a feeling of fear mixed with an instinct to run or escape. Finally, there are cognitive changes that help us deal with danger. For example, it may be harder to think logically when we are in danger because we need to act without thinking too much, so the logical part of the brain gets shut down to some degree when danger is sensed.
When is Anxiety a Problem?
There are many different types of anxiety and worries people seek anxiety treatment for. Some people worry a lot about losing control of their bodies. They think a lot about things that seem wrong with their bodies, worry about getting sick, and wonder if there is something physically wrong they aren’t aware of. They may also be afraid of losing control, like having a panic attack or throwing up at unexpected times. Other people worry about social situations. They fear rejection or criticism and have anxieties about whether they will perform well enough in social settings to avoid judgment or criticism from others. There may also be a fear of making a mistake at work or saying the wrong thing, and being assertive may be scary due to fears of making others angry by speaking up.
Anxiety may be considered problematic or disordered for a number of different reasons, but most of the time therapy is needed either when a person is getting a lot of false alarms from his/her brain (telling him there is danger when things are actually safe), or when we become conditioned to avoid more and more situations because avoiding things makes us feel better (but also restricts us from living our lives). Constant false alarms mean you’re unable to accurately judge situational safety, and avoidance impairs your ability to complete regular tasks that others can take care of routinely. For example, your brain may alert you that supermarkets are dangerous by sending you a whole set of danger signals each time you think about approaching a supermarket, causing you distress and possibly leading you to avoid supermarkets altogether. Assuming that there is nothing more dangerous about your local supermarket than any other ordinary situation, this anxiety could stop you from being able to do an everyday activity such as grocery shopping when there is really no rational reason for you to be afraid of this situation. It’s simply a false alarm your brain is sending.
How Does Therapy Help with Anxiety?
Below, I’ve outlined some ways therapy sessions can help with the major forms of disordered anxiety.
Recognizing False Alarms
Learning to recognize and respond to false alarms is something that needs to be addressed in anxiety treatment. In fact, much of what we will do in treatment involves recognizing FALSE ALARMS as well as MISUNDERSTOOD ALARM SIGNALS, so you can interact more effectively with yourself and your environment. Anxiety is often a signal of an unconscious conflict or emotion that is experienced as dangerous. It will take time, but together, we can discover what your unconscious is REALLY trying to tell you about yourself.
Accurately Judging Situational Safety
Another problem happens when you lose your ability to judge which situations are safe and which ones are dangerous. This may be a result of life experiences that conditioned you to react to ordinary safe experiences with a sense of threat. For example, it is common for people to feel safe in relationships with their family members. However, if you were abused or hurt by a family member, you may no longer view family members as safe. You may also continue to feel unsafe and insecure around supportive and safe family members or significant others in your present life because you don’t know the difference between people who are safe and people who aren’t. Anxiety treatment can help you recalibrate your reactions to people and situations.
Taking Appropriate Actions Based on Real Risks
Anxiety can also stop us from taking action in situations where the risks are relatively low or when worrying or “over-thinking” won’t actually solve anything. Similarly, anxiety can be a problem when it leads to unhealthy avoidance of people, places, and things in our lives. Having a life that gets more and more constricted because of fear is no fun at all, but treatment can help you learn to recognize real risks and take appropriate actions only when the actions are necessary for your safety.
Handling Fear of the Unknown
If you’re anxious, you may also have a very big fear of the unknown. You prefer to stay in your comfort zone and choose that which is familiar rather than taking healthy risks that can enrich your life. If this sounds familiar to you, then you probably know what I mean when I say that some people really crave certainty. You might wish you could know ahead of time whether or not you’re making the right choices, or you may spend hours analyzing your decisions or obsessing over things you’ve said or done. Sometimes you get so stuck in your head that you can barely do the things you need to live a functional life.
What Happens During Therapy for Anxiety?
I offer a combination of behavioral treatment and psychodynamic treatment for anxiety disorders. Therapy will usually include an exposure therapy component in which we work together to help you face your fears. We will also explore unconscious conflicts or developmental issues that may be contributing to your anxiety.