To speak or not to speak?
Many people wonder why it’s a good thing to talk about problems, feelings, memories, and more, instead of just pushing them away and forgetting about them. This is especially true when the act of talking seems to dredge […]
Who is this person who abuses his/her partner?
(For the sake of simplicity, I at times have used the male pronoun to refer to the abuser, and the female pronoun to refer to the victim. In reality, the roles of victim and perpetrator are not […]
I received many requests to create a follow up video after posting my video on “Dismissive Attachment”. Many people expressed that they wanted to hear more about the other attachment styles as well. I offer some more general thoughts about the different […]
Reading Between the Lines in Couples Therapy- When Actions Say What Words Cannot
For the therapist who believes that there’s “more than meets the eye” when it comes to the common complaints that couples come in with, it can be a real challenge to figure […]
Coping with Grief
There are many types of losses that we all face, some major- like a death or relationship breakup- and some less so- like a missed opportunity or saying no to something we want to do. How we cope with disappointments, not getting […]
How to Keep Passion Alive in Committed Relationships
Good coupling involves a lively back and forth between safety and risk.
The security of commitment, mutual values, sharing a home, and managing day to day tasks as a team tends to create a […]
Speaking Up in Relationships
One of the challenges for people who don’t speak up for themselves is that everyone seems to like them that way. Whether it’s a co-worker, spouse, child, or friend- […]
During the current coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic, many people have been forced to engage with people in their lives who are not good for them in ways that are much more meaningful. If you live with a manipulator, the already stressful […]
Containment in Relationships
While the vicissitudes of ordinary discourse in relationships may be easy for many of us, this is by no means the case for everyone.
What can we make of the times when words are not treated as simply the best tools we’ve come up […]
Abandonment: Depression and Other Effects
Feelings of abandonment by people we need or love, even people who hurt us sometimes too, can be one of the most difficult experiences in relationships, calling up some of our most primitive survival mechanisms to manage the pain.
But we all experience […]