Blog- Goldstein Therapy- Clifton, NJ

Understanding Projection: Why We Project and How It Affects Others

Projection is something we all do—often without realizing it. It’s our brain’s way of coping with uncomfortable feelings by seeing them in others. For example, you might accuse a friend of being “stressed out” when it’s really your own anxiety you’re projecting. In these moments, we’re often unconsciously seeking empathy. In therapy, this dynamic is known as transference, where clients project past feelings onto their therapist. How we respond to projection—whether with empathy or defensiveness—can make all the difference in deepening or straining relationships

Understanding Projection: Why We Project and How It Affects Othersmirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

Grief: The Path to Letting Go of Expectations in Ourselves and Our Relationships

Grief is not just something we experience when we lose a loved one or face the tangible losses of life. It is also a profound emotional response to the invisible losses we encounter—losses that come when we realize that life isn’t turning out […]

Grief: The Path to Letting Go of Expectations in Ourselves and Our Relationshipsmirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

The Hidden Layers of Healing in Therapy

When we begin therapy, the initial focus is often on the conscious reasons behind our struggles—the triggers we can easily identify. These might include the way a parent treated us, a relationship that went wrong, or something within ourselves we […]

The Hidden Layers of Healing in Therapymirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

Feeling Stuck: It may be time to unpack the stories buried in your unconscious

Feeling Stuck? Your Unconscious May Be Trying to Tell You Something:

-The Unconscious Speaks: Lacan famously said, “The unconscious is structured like a language.” If you feel stuck, perhaps it’s time to learn that language.

Feeling Stuck: It may be time to unpack the stories buried in your unconsciousmirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

Exposure Therapy Script for Accepting Social Slights Instead of Fixating on Them

Some of my clients find themselves becoming very upset when they feel wronged or exploited. This reaction can be a strength, especially when we have the ability to protect ourselves by speaking up or leaving the situation. However, there are times when we […]

Exposure Therapy Script for Accepting Social Slights Instead of Fixating on Themmirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

Video on Coping with Shame: When Others Deny Our Reality

Shame is a powerful emotion that can shape our self-perception and interactions with others. Often, people avoid facing their own shame by denying the realities of those around them. This denial serves as a defense mechanism, helping them maintain a comfortable self-image. However, it can be incredibly damaging to those whose experiences are […]

Video on Coping with Shame: When Others Deny Our Realitymirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

Some Thoughts on Guilt and Shame

In truth, all emotions we experience are ultimately signals—responses to stimuli or conditioning we’ve internalized. By questioning whether these emotions truly belong to us (or if they’re introjected, i.e. alien aspects from others that don’t align with our true selves); assessing whether they’re helpful and appropriate to the context we’re experiencing them in; and recognizing them as acceptable parts of ourselves, we increase our agency and autonomy. Moving away from reflexive, automatic beliefs and reactions to our emotions towards more reflective and constructive ways of relating to them can help us engage with them in ways that align with our true selves.

Some Thoughts on Guilt and Shamemirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

How Conditioned Beliefs Fuel Anxiety and Rumination: Insights from Metacognitive Therapy

Anxiety often feels like an inescapable part of life, driven by persistent worry and rumination. Metacognitive therapy (MCT) offers a unique perspective on how our beliefs about our thoughts can maintain and even exacerbate anxiety.

The Role of […]

How Conditioned Beliefs Fuel Anxiety and Rumination: Insights from Metacognitive Therapymirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

Intellectualizing or Minimizing Feelings Away (aka talking ourselves out of our emotions)

Do you think your feelings are supposed to make sense? Do you try to talk yourself out of your emotions if you think they’re unjustified or invalid?

If this is you, you’re probably doing this for a good reason, […]

Intellectualizing or Minimizing Feelings Away (aka talking ourselves out of our emotions)mirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00

How your attachment style may affect your relationship to therapy or medication

Having an avoidant or dismissive attachment style can lead to not wanting to take medication or rely on others or talking about feelings for help. Having a preoccupied or anxious ambivalent attachment style can lead to a person wanting a “pill” that can “fix things” or wanting someone or something to make them […]

How your attachment style may affect your relationship to therapy or medicationmirel2025-07-22T04:57:12+00:00