Do Opposites Attract? Lessons from Couples Therapy
Jun 22, 2014 12:39 am | Mirel Goldstein
Carla and David had been coming to see me for couples therapy over the course of several months, when we found ourselves at a major impasse regarding Carla’s complaints about David’s lack of responsibility and follow-through. Carla was extremely organized and liked […]
Self-Hatred
Jun 29, 2014 12:34 am | Mirel Goldstein
Recently, a number of clients have communicated to me some version of “I hate myself” or “I’ve always hated myself”, while discussing symptoms such as depression, compulsive or addictive behaviors, or self-esteem issues. Often, this powerful self-hatred is accompanied by feelings of being toxic, evil, and inherently prone […]
Compulsive Rescuing
Jul 04, 2014 12:51 am | Mirel Goldstein
Many people wish to be rescued when circumstances become trying enough. Situations such as not having enough money to pay one’s bills, feeling out of control about compulsive behaviors such as overeating or drinking alcohol, feeling lonely after a recent relationship breakup, or trying to get out […]
Emotion Regulation: Shame
Jul 13, 2014 12:38 am | Mirel Goldstein
Most of us have experienced feelings of shame at some point in our lives…feelings of wanting to hide, wishing we didn’t exist, feeling painfully exposed to others and their judgments. For some, the sense of inner […]
Cognitive Therapy: Mindful Awareness
Many of us are afraid to spend quality time with ourselves. We manage to run away in all sorts of ways, trying to escape the unsettling quiet of being alone with our own minds, or noticing how loud our feelings can be when we actually pay attention to them. Some of us […]
Power Dynamics in Relationships
Aug 03, 2014 10:44 pm | Mirel Goldstein
One of the most confusing power dynamics in relationships that comes up in my work as a therapist, has to do with feelings of confusion and insecurity that come up when clients spend time with people who seem very nice and harmless on the surface, […]
Distress Tolerance in Parenting: Lessons from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Aug 10, 2014 12:01 am | Mirel Goldstein
Although pain and distress are inevitable parts of life, many of us lack the skills to manage our pain in effective ways (Dialectical […]
Learning from Experience and Distress Tolerance
Sep 28, 2014 11:11 pm | Mirel Goldstein
It’s a well-known and sometimes paradoxical thing, but I do think it’s true: People often repeat painful experiences over and over again simply because they are afraid of the unfamiliar. Sometimes what […]
Shared Avoidance and Unconscious Collusions in Couples Therapy
Oct 29, 2014 05:15 pm | Mirel Goldstein
If you’re reading this post that starts with the words “Save my marriage”, then you probably already know just how true it is that difficult times […]
Anxiety about Making Decisions
What is it that makes it so hard for some people to make decisions, sometimes even simple ones?
Whether it’s feeling unable to make a decision in the first place; making decisions and then undoing them (for example, getting […]