When You’re Ordinary, Normal, and Highly Successful…and You Still Need Help
I’ve often wondered why it can be so hard for people who seem like poster children for “ordinary”, “normal”, and “successful” to take help….and especially why they wait so long to show up at my office. Whether it’s dissatisfaction with a relationship, a sudden awareness of depression, or just anxiety that has gotten to the point of being way too uncomfortable, these are people who don’t come for help until they’re desperate, and even then, it’s often with mixed feelings and a lot of confusion about why they’re sitting in counselor’s office.
What leads to a need to feel independent, “normal”, and “able to take care of the self”? What is it that makes it so hard for some people to admit to neediness, vulnerability, and a need for closeness with others?
For some, it’s a coping strategy developed in the face of parents who rejected neediness and emotionality. For others, it can be past betrayals at times of need…and the fear of trusting again. It also could be a sense of disgust with a parent who seemed too needy or emotional, or an idealization of a parent who seemed strong and invincible.
But what is the price that gets paid for not admitting to our need for others? What do we lose when we cannot ask for help?
Thoughts?
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